Captain's Log Day 7: WATCH WORDS
It's Day 7/50 and all is well. On Day One I wrote to you about the essential value of the voyage metaphor to this adventure/quest. The image of a sailing ship travelling to an unknown but anticipated destination is one I will return to again and again in my writing because it captures perfectly so many aspects of both creative/artistic practice generally and our personal experience specifically. This week I invite you to inhabit the mariner metaphor because it'll help you see what you've actually agreed to do here and it'll help you understand how to do it well.
Ten years ago I worked for a while with an excellent teacher called Graham Mead, developing a greater sense of present moment awareness. It was a process combining meditation with simple (and occasionally very challenging) breathwork, combined with contemplation and conversation. Sounds like "therapy" I know but the experience was more expansive and creative than what my experience of therapy had been in the past. It built a practice which has become innate. I credit it with so many things and I don't think I would have created The Half or be writing this blog without it.
In that work with Graham, he would say that what we were doing required "commitment, consistency, and patience". Your work during The Half requires these things, too. Sit with that for a moment. Say these words to yourself in your mind.
Commitment.
Consistency.
Patience.
You've ticked the first one off the list by signing up to The Half (and reading this blog) but your commitment will be tested on a regular basis throughout this voyage. You will not be able to complete your 50 day project in a satisfying way without renewing your commitment, without establishing ways to enable consistency, and without relating to yourself in a supportive way over time. Let the words Commitment, Consistency, and Patience be watchwords for you throughout our voyage.
Watchword.
"The word given to sentinels, and to such as have occasion to visit the guards, used as a signal by which a friend is known from an enemy, or a person who has a right to pass the watch, from one who has not." - Webster's Online Dictionary.
Signal. Sentinel. Guard. Friend. Aboard the "vessel" of your project you must be all of these things. You must keep a look out, protect your process and your work, and be good company for yourself while you travel. As I was researching ship life this week, I came across the concept of the "watch". It defines the pattern of daily life onboard, organising maintenance of the boat and enabling the crew to rest. It's the daily routine.
Over the course of the first week of The Half it's likely you have developed some kind of routine. Alternatively, if you've had a busy week with lots of "life stuff" happening, you may have observed how difficult it is to connect with your project without one. A week into this process, it will be helpful today to think about routine and be deliberate about establishing one for yourself in the coming days.
LOG BOOK: WRITING
Looking back:
- did you begin your project with an intention to work at a certain time for a certain period?
- when did you "do" your project this week (time of day)?
- for how long?
- what sorts of activities did you carry out?
In an ideal world:
- how long would you like to spend with your project each day?
- when would you like to do that?
Have you done any bare minimum days? What were they like?
What is hindering your ability to establish a routine?
Do you need to ask for help in creating space and time for your work?
Watches are about maintenance and keeping the boat "ship shape" but they are also about guardianship and protection. In establishing a routine/a range of routines and doing your level best to stick to them, you set an intention to protect your project. You act as a guardian for yourself, for your time, for your work, for the development of that work.
It's important to guard yourself in other ways during this process too. The group chats are wonderfully engaging but they involve holding our phone and we all know it can be a slippery slope from opening a messaging app to doomscrolling (often for the length of time we could have been doing our project).
Looking for inspiration online can easily slump into a sense of It's All Been Done Before. This feeling - and it truly feels bad - is like a torpedo coming straight for your project. Get aware. Be on the watch. Sound the alarm. Put the phone down.
I don't mean to foster an overly defensive stance here but you do have to guard your project. It matters. It's precious. A sense of parental protection is what we're after here because curiosity and a sense of fascination have roots in our early years. We weren't all given time and space - or the materials and encouragement - to mess around and play around as kids. We may have been actively discouraged from expressing ourselves or, arguably worse, ignored.
Even if we were enabled, we may have inherited (from parents or our culture) ideas that act like reefs in the mind. You may have run into them already in our first week. They haven't wrecked you, don't worry. Every day, the vessel of your project is miraculously restored to its original glory. With every sunrise you are reoriented. Scrub those decks. Polish the brass.
Which brings me to ritual. You may find it helpful to include a sense of ritual at the opening and closing of your daily work. Perhaps you've already connected to that: a daily walk along a familiar path, the gathering of tools, the kettle on, a desk and chair. Making things special. Recognising them as such. Engagement with our precious work can be fostered through awareness of the opening and closing of our essential routine. That awareness comes through our senses: sight, scent, touch, listening.
This week, set the intention to consciously open and close time with your work. I'm writing this on a Sunday - the perfect day for this exploration.
Bless yourself and bless your work.
Light a candle.
Touch your materials. Hold your tools.
Close your eyes, breathing softly.
Ask what it is you're wanting to do.
Signal to your Self: you are welcome, friend.
Begin again.
Steady as she goes,
xAmanda